Just Be Yourself??

This one was supposed to be a vulnerability narrative. Needless to say, it's easier to write about someone else's vulnerabilities than your own. This one is loosely based on a real story. It was a little rushed so it's a bit shorter than the others. Take it for what it's worth.

Every child is told to “just be yourself” at least once while growing up. It’s inevitable. Parents promote being unique and standing out, hoping their child’s individuality will play a role in his or her becoming the next Oscar winning actor or Nobel Prize winning scientist. Paul was no exception. He had heard it many times throughout childhood, and Paul wanted nothing more than to be himself. But society doesn’t actually want you to be yourself. Society does not want you to stand out. It does not want you to be different than those around you. No, being unique while growing up isn’t going to win you any awards, and Paul knew this.

Paul didn’t realize it at first, and even down the road when he did he refused to accept it. It was easier for Paul to grow up as the paradigm of a young man, trying to play sports and chase girls, than it was for him to “just be himself.” He was never very good at sports though, constantly losing focus, off in his own world, until the coach’s booming voice cut through his thoughts and brought him back to reality. His “teammates” never missed an opportunity to make fun of him for his lack of athletic ability either, regularly calling him a “fag” or “pussy” when he messed up on a play. Paul wasn’t an athlete, but every year he came out for the team, hoping that this season was going to be better than the last.

With girls it was different. Paul never had a hard time talking to girls. Quite the contrary, he felt much more comfortable when surrounded by a group of young ladies than when he was with a group of guys. It was a mutual feeling, too. Girls knew they could talk to him and he would genuinely understand and be there for them. Paul was well liked, loved even, by almost every girl that he met, but never in that way. Despite his best efforts while growing up, Paul was always a friend, never a flame.

It wasn’t until years after Paul and Matt met that Paul would finally come out of his shell and be himself. When he did, Matt wasn’t surprised. No one really was. As soon as Matt met Paul he knew. But when Paul talked to his parents about it, the same parents that told him to “just be yourself” as a young boy, all they responded with was, “It’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it.”